Tomorrow is the big day. Funny I say "big," because, after the last appointment, I'm thinking my boobs aren't going to be as big as I'd hoped. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but I'm kind of going in with low expectations when it comes to final results.
I'm coping pretty well, though. Joseph and I have had a couple little spats, but nothing a few sentences of explanation and apology didn't repair. He's been through a lot lately - with the suicide of a family member just last week. Everything seems to be hitting at once, and I think it's a testament to our mutual love and respect that our relationship hasn't suffered with all the stress. It really is a beautiful thing when two people form a partnership that enables them to face the world as stronger individuals.
Yesterday, Melanie was gracious enough to go to "TJ Ross" (our new favorite phrase) so I could get a nice new robe and a fitness ball. The fitness ball is great for sitting on while on the computer and for pressing my back against when it gets sore. I think it will be a multi function helper. The robe I found is luxurious. It's that nice slinky rayon with the feel of bamboo. Inexpensive, but fabulous. I also found a cute little nighty to go under it. It is really important to me that I have things that make me feel pretty or please me aesthetically. It's all about exploiting the sensory input that is still capable of pleasure.
We repositioned the couch so that the TV will be easier to view without craning my neck. I found the memory foam and the down mattress cover from my old bed along with my favorite sheets. Now the fold out bed is pimped and ready for my comfortable lounging. We have the PS3 set up to stream Netflix - and all is well in the world. A few loads of laundry and a trip to the grocery store, and we'll be ready to rock.
Dad and his finance will meet Joseph and I at the surgery center at 8:00am. I can't eat anything after midnight tonight. I do get to take my meds in the morning, so Xanax should help with the pre mask anxiety. They also will administer Versed when I'm still with dad and Joseph, so that helps. I keep telling myself it's going to be ok and, for the most part, I believe me. Melanie will provide transport from the surgery center back to my house since her car is the most comfortable to ride in. Although I anticipate being rather out of it, I'm still glad I'll get to see her. Some people just make a person feel better, you know?
So-here we go again! My hope is that I go in feeling as calm as I did for the first surgery, and come out feeling a hell of a lot better. It's encouraging that I can face such things and not become as overwhelmed as I did when I was younger. Age can be the barer of some very useful gifts.
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