Thank you,sir, may I have another?

Quite a bit has happened since my last post. My work, relying on my previous doctor's note as the word of Christ, gave me a few options-all of which had me in a panic. I could either return to full duty and keep my hours, work only the second half of my regular shifts, or take more time off siting medical leave. I investigated my options, and, despite my supervisor's initial email to the contrary, was able to add my two cents and come up with a temporary workable situation. I have 2/3 of my hours for the next three weeks. I think this will be enough to squeak by on in the short term. At first I couldn't see how this would work out. Full duty was going to be really tough with more expansions to go. I could BS my way through, but what if I dropped a baby or something? What if me pushing myself too hard meant harm to someone I was responsible for? I'm not very good at acknowledging my limits-and this one was a hard one to swallow. Half time wasn't going to cover my bills-even with Joseph's help on rent and whatnot. I looked into our state's unemployment/temp disability laws, and it seems like they aren't very accommodating. Luckily one of the nights I'm working entails me presenting on various topics to the residents, and it's a task that would be difficult for another staff to fill in on. After this week (Wed being the second to last fill!), I realized that the hours being cut were actually rather helpful. This shit is an ordeal, and I need my rest.

Joseph's Birthday is today! What a guy I've got. I feel so lucky to have him. He really takes great care of me without making me feel like a fucking invalid. He's sensitive to my needs, and rolls with the punches as well as anyone could. I was afraid to admit I ever wanted so much from another human because I though it was simply too much to ask. But here he is...

I have a pretty awesome medical update. My current doctor does things a bit differently than other surgeons I've read about. I have heard his reasoning as well as the logic behind other surgeon's methods, and they both make sense to me. My doctor's strategy sounds like the preferred plan since it shortens the length of my reconstruction and...well...shortens the length of my reconstruction:) The plan now is to have one more expansion in a week and a half (Feb 3) which will put me at 550cc, then wait three weeks and have the exchange surgery. Dr. Hardy has explained that he would like to carve out a little more tissue by the sternum in order to give a bit more cleavage, and thinks he can get 750cc implants in. In effect the final expansion will be done with the permanent implants. This sounds good to me as I hear the implants are much more comfortable than the expanders. I like the idea of having the final steps combined into one last procedure, then starting to feel better and better without the setbacks that expansions result in. We'll see how it goes. I think with proper pain management and being at the hospital that I want to be at (close to home!!!), I'll do well. Thank goodness there's an end in sight. I'm tiring of this ordeal. I can make it, but I'm tired.