But who's counting, right?
I have these fleeting moments of panic, but I'm starting to think I'll be on the bandwagon with the other "I'm so glad it's OVER" folk. Everything has been moving right on schedule, and nothing has derailed me so far. The move is going well. Two more trips to get the remainder of my shit out, and the place is mostly cleaned (Thank you, awesome boyfriend, dad and dad's lady friend!!!). My things are packed and all accommodations are set. I have one more shift after tonight, and I'll be out of here. I'm going to try to get one more knitting session in before I go on Sunday evening. Then one more night with Joseph before I go. I suppose I'll be alright without him, but I will miss his soothing quality and his funny commentary. It feels like we've developed a whole selection of inside jokes that no one else can appreciate. And when he laughs, his whole face lights up and I can't help but feel like all is well in the world for that moment. I'm sure I will be very ready to see him when he comes out to meet us. His brother's girlfriend is a fellow knitter (I just found this out) and somehow it makes me feel like everything will be alright. Odd, but true.
I'm not too scared of the pain at the moment.
I'm tired just thinking about the drive on Monday.
I want to puke when I think of how close the surgery is-kind of like I feel when I think about flying in an airplane.
I'm not sure if I'm scared of the anxiety just before the procedure-I've been able to take it one step at a time so far.
I'm looking forward to a month off, and to having a visit with my daughter. The visit was just set up a week ago, and I'm really happy I'll get to see her.
I'm nervous about my sex life, but I guess that will be figured out.
I've got some pretty underthings that I think will make me feel better about my empty boob sacks.
I've thought of my mom several times today. Missed her a bit. The girls at work ended up having a food fight, and I totally let it go (though I'm sure that wouldn't be considered "professional"). Mom would have been very happy about a food fight. It was in her honor that I sat in the office and listened to the kids giggle and run around. Life sure is changing. Nothing shocks me, but lots of things do surprise me. I think surgery will come with a few surprises as well. And I'm okay with that at the moment. I feel loved and I feel like my needs are getting met. That's a lot more that other people get, right?
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